I haven’t always had a devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows, but I’ve found myself more and more drawn to her over the last few years. It started because our daughter’s name is partly inspired by Our Lady of Sorrows, but my experience of being a mother with chronic illness has nurtured this devotion.
In his homily on the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows in 2008, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI said that Mary “was led to perfection through … suffering.” But, it’s not just Mary—Jesus called us all to take up our cross (Matthew 16:24). God creates a cross custom-fit for our own journey to holiness, and it’s only by embracing and carrying it well (and, crucially, with his help) that we can become holy.
In this journey, we can both imitate and seek the help of Our Lady of Sorrows. Her suffering began with an unexpected pregnancy (one that likely brought scandal, since she was supposed to be a virgin) and ended with the witness of the suffering and death of her Son on the cross. (Although, she probably suffered after that. We know that she lived after Jesus ascended to Heaven, and while she had the hope of being reunited with him, I’m sure she missed him!)
Mary’s Immaculate Heart is pictured with both roses and a sword cutting it. After all, while Mary’s heart was pure—“the rose without thorns,” as St. Ambrose said—it was also full of suffering. She was told when Jesus was still an infant that a sword would pierce her soul (Luke 2:35), and grief and suffering occurred throughout her life.
I also find it significant that Our Lady of Częstochowa is pictured with scars: two on her cheek and one on her throat. The scars weren’t part of the painting originally, but in 1430, it was stolen and struck with a sword. Artists repeatedly restored the painting—only to have the scars miraculously reappear each time. Aleteia reports:
Some believe that the Virgin Mary wants the scars there to warn anyone else who may want to steal the image, while others see it as a sign connected to her many sorrows on earth. Similar to the scars on Jesus’ resurrected body, they remain as a reminder of the suffering that is endured before achieving the heavenly reward.
I’ve always found it beautiful that Jesus’ resurrected, glorified body had the scars he received while suffering for us. I have my own scars—scars from an endometriosis surgery I underwent partly to relieve pain and partly to make my body as healthy as possible so I could become a mother (those scars will be “refreshed” in another surgery later this year). I have the flabby stomach that shows I carried a growing baby. Who knows what other scars I will have by the time I die, proof of, God willing, a life well lived, a life in which I suffered for God and for the people he’s given me to love.
Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that September is both the month dedicated to Our Lady of Sorrows and Pain Awareness Month. There are many types of pain, but in all of them, Our Lady can bring comfort and accompaniment. And, most of all, as I was reminded in a craft and prayer evening with Lily of the Valley Ministry last night, she can remind us both that her Son (and, therefore, she) suffered for us, personally—because of our sins—and that there is always, always redemption to be found with Him.
My News:
My latest CatholicMom.com article was a review of a new book about my patron saint, Thérèse of Lisieux.
I had the joy of interviewing Pink Stork founder and CEO Amy Suzanne Upchurch for the Catholic Women Lead podcast. I just love the way they do business. Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
My business partner, Elise Crawford Gallagher, and I are making a special announcement this weekend! You can find out via email on Saturday or join us live on Instagram Sunday (@tarynmdelong and @elisecrawfordgallagher) at 1 p.m. Eastern.
Content I’ve Liked Recently:
Elise had a beautiful interview with Bridget Busacker on Bridget’s Managing Your Fertility podcast on work and motherhood.
Coach and former Catholic Women in Business writer Kerri Christopher had a thought-provoking post on her Substack,
, about “having it all” and “leaning in and out.”Monk Manual founder Steven Lawson had a great interview on Ave Explores with Katie Prejean McGrady on intentional and liturgical living.
Absolutely loved this Word on Fire Gospel reflection by Bishop Barron about the parable of the vineyard. I am, uncomfortably, too often the day-long laborers.
Books I’ve Enjoyed:
I heard an interview Mary Marantz did on a podcast months ago and finally read her first book, Dirt: Growing Strong Roots in What Makes the Broken Beautiful. It was a beautiful read and also helped me learn more about the state that one of my grandmothers grew up in!
Did you know that Reese Witherspoon writes children’s picture books? I didn’t, but I reserved one as soon as I found out. Busy Betty was a fun, bright, and colorful (illustrations by Xindi Yan) book—exactly what you’d expect from her—and my daughter and I enjoyed it!
Wonderful Seasons by Emily Winfield Martin was a delightful book to read aloud with my two-year-old, because there are so many pictures to talk about and words to learn.
Thanks for the mention!